Product Review - South Beach Diet Pizzas

Oh, Kraft foods...you would think I've learned by now, after the invention of Velveeta, the condom lube products in Cool Whip, and your version of macaroni and cheese - powdered cheese with 5 gallons of butter? Hm.

Nope, I am still a glutton for punishment. I still bargain shop for Insta-meals and am determined to save an extra dollar while our economy plunges further into the depths of despair.



Kraft's South Beach Diet insta-pizzas caught my eye this past Sunday night, especially when I saw they were 15 cents cheaper than the average sodium-loaded Red Baron pizzas. To top it off, they make their pizzas with a wheat crust. I hurredly snatched 3 frozen boxes and chunked them in my cart, next to my always adored Lean Cuisine paninis.





Today's victim is the SB Grilled Chicken and Vegetable pizza with wheat crust. First, the image:

Following, the nutritional facts:

Calories :330
Calories from Fat: 90
Total Fat: 10g
Saturated Fat: 4g
Cholesterol: 25mg
Sodium: 620mg
Total Carbohydrate: 37g
Dietary Fiber: 10g
Sugars: 5g
Protein: 30g

And the review:

Every so often I have to serve my dog Cyrus a pill for some ailment or injury he obtained. This is always pure excitement and involves me chasing him around the house, crashing into the coffee table, falling down cursing and losing the pill (which was about $4 per tablet), then him feeling guilty and allowing me to jam the found pill down his throat. He ends up hawking it up, stuffing it in his jaw to avoid the taste, and later in the evening I can hear him smacking his lips in his attempts to remove the now jammed-in-the-gum pill from its location. The sound and sight is hilarious.

It's even more hilarious on a human, especially me. This pizza was dry beyond logical reasoning, especially with the high amount of sugar in it. There was no tomato sauce, and the spinach topping felt a little moldy. With the high amount of sodium in it, I drank a whole bottle of water in one sitting. The caloric content is reasonable, but as always, I supplement my meals with fruit and chips. I need the carbs to keep my internal engine going, so I could justify that.

The pizza's wheat crust was actually decent - flaky and crunchy, like pizzas should be. Of course, with all wheat breads, the texture will be a bit dryer than white, however I am used to that by now, having been consuming wheat bread for several years. I consider white bread a splurge.

I doubt I will buy this pizza again, and just go for spending an extra 10 cents on a Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice for the next time. I do have 2 additional South Beach meals hiding in my abyss of a freezer, though.

Product Review - Lean Cuisine Chicken Florentine

Like millions of other Americans, I am constantly looking for new ways to eat healthier, save money, and keep up with the growing food trends. I'm also dirt cheap and get tired of spending $50 a week on restaurant food. My good friend The DailyDimwit is also going through a "I feel fat! Must eat in more often!" phase, and my feeble attempts to introduce him to low cost, healthy eating are futile. I have tried to tell him which instant lunches taste the best, but of course, being a man...he doesn't listen.

With that in mind, I went to my local grocery store and stocked up on 'insta-meals': welcome new category!


My freezer's supply is getting low, but in my attempts to keep pinching the poop off the buffalo on a penny I dug around and discovered a loan box, snatched it up, and ate it for lunch today. Then I read the paper, RIGHT after I pitched the container in the trash. Oops.*



Today's experiment was Lean Cuisine's 13.25 ounce Chicken Florentine meal. No preservatives! Here are the nutritional facts they exploit right on the box:

• Fat - 9g
• Calories - 410
• Vitamin A - 70%D
• VCalcium - 35%DV
• Vitamin C - 0%DV
• Dietary Fiber - 24%DV
• Weight Watchers® Points® 8
• Vegetable Servings 1
• Total Carbohydrates (g) 54 - 18% DV

I'm all about the high fiber content at this point in my life, and for a woman my age, that's a bit less milk I have to drink to get my calcium. The sodium content is a bit high at 840 mg, 35% DV, but that is easy to counteract with enough water consumption and eating acidic fruit with the meal. Calorie-wise, if you focus only on that, it isn't much for a meal within a 2,000 calorie diet. However, knowing my system, internal clock, and overall being in tune with my body (as all women need to be in their 20s and up) I knew that the carb content was enough to keep my engine burning through the rest of today. Me + no carbs = zonked out writer with no personality! That equals less reviews for you all. And yes, people do read this...especially my Rooms to Go review...wow! The hits on that are astounding!

Moving along...the recommended radioactive cancer forming (also known as microwave) time was about 5 minutes with a stop/stir in between. I chunked mine in my office fridge this morning about 9:30 when I stumbled in, late as always. It sat for about 2 1/2 hours until I remembered I brought my lunch and needed to eat. I nuked this bad boy for about 2 minutes, found the center frozen like a hot pocket, then nuked it for another minute. Give it a stir and off we go!

The pasta noodles are precooked and taste like plain pasta noodles. They aren't crunchy or dry, and retain the spiral shape pretty well. The chicken is impressive -all white breast meat that is tender, juicy, and no sign of frost bite. The veggies are good; the meal doesn't contain enough for my liking, but I'm someone who will sit and eat an entire head of broccoli and puts okra in everything.

The meal loses points for the sauce. With the freezing/thawing/nuking process, the sauce loses the creamy thickness people adore in pasta, and turns into a watery, runny mess. It appears and tastes as if it was made with skim milk, and in further review of the ingredients, my taste buds were correct. This is where the lower caloric content comes into play. I prefer at lowest, 1% milk within the sauce.

My tastebuds are also an the pro-savory side. The sauce in the meal is a bit bland and leans to the sweet side, so I had to season it severely to satisfy my salty desires. I also cracked some pepper over it, which helped.

The portion size for me is perfect (I am 5'3'' and on a good day weigh about 125 pounds; if you tell anyone I'll smack you), but I do supplement with fruit. I also have an afternoon snack to keep me from inhaling cookies or cake that our office loves to provide. It's a birthday! Let's have cake. Retirement! Cake! New hire! Cake! Someone had a baby! Cake! Someone has diabetes! Ca-...er...cake with fruit on top!

Overall, I give this about a 3.75 out of 5 on my insta-meal scale. I will buy this meal again, but now I remember why it always finds it way to the no-man's land of my freezer. However, if you are craving some carbs, pasta, and just something different, rather than a PB&J or pizza, it's worth the $2.50 you spend at the store. Lean Cuisine also provides coupons, which, at this point in the economy, makes the addition of salt seem worth the 40 cent savings.

*Editor's note: I ate this meal despite the news that 3 of Lean Cuisine's meals have been recalled here in my side of Texas. If I die, now you guys will know why!