Product Review - South Beach Diet Pizzas

Oh, Kraft foods...you would think I've learned by now, after the invention of Velveeta, the condom lube products in Cool Whip, and your version of macaroni and cheese - powdered cheese with 5 gallons of butter? Hm.

Nope, I am still a glutton for punishment. I still bargain shop for Insta-meals and am determined to save an extra dollar while our economy plunges further into the depths of despair.



Kraft's South Beach Diet insta-pizzas caught my eye this past Sunday night, especially when I saw they were 15 cents cheaper than the average sodium-loaded Red Baron pizzas. To top it off, they make their pizzas with a wheat crust. I hurredly snatched 3 frozen boxes and chunked them in my cart, next to my always adored Lean Cuisine paninis.





Today's victim is the SB Grilled Chicken and Vegetable pizza with wheat crust. First, the image:

Following, the nutritional facts:

Calories :330
Calories from Fat: 90
Total Fat: 10g
Saturated Fat: 4g
Cholesterol: 25mg
Sodium: 620mg
Total Carbohydrate: 37g
Dietary Fiber: 10g
Sugars: 5g
Protein: 30g

And the review:

Every so often I have to serve my dog Cyrus a pill for some ailment or injury he obtained. This is always pure excitement and involves me chasing him around the house, crashing into the coffee table, falling down cursing and losing the pill (which was about $4 per tablet), then him feeling guilty and allowing me to jam the found pill down his throat. He ends up hawking it up, stuffing it in his jaw to avoid the taste, and later in the evening I can hear him smacking his lips in his attempts to remove the now jammed-in-the-gum pill from its location. The sound and sight is hilarious.

It's even more hilarious on a human, especially me. This pizza was dry beyond logical reasoning, especially with the high amount of sugar in it. There was no tomato sauce, and the spinach topping felt a little moldy. With the high amount of sodium in it, I drank a whole bottle of water in one sitting. The caloric content is reasonable, but as always, I supplement my meals with fruit and chips. I need the carbs to keep my internal engine going, so I could justify that.

The pizza's wheat crust was actually decent - flaky and crunchy, like pizzas should be. Of course, with all wheat breads, the texture will be a bit dryer than white, however I am used to that by now, having been consuming wheat bread for several years. I consider white bread a splurge.

I doubt I will buy this pizza again, and just go for spending an extra 10 cents on a Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice for the next time. I do have 2 additional South Beach meals hiding in my abyss of a freezer, though.