Review - http://medicaladoptions.com/

In my review of this site, I found it simply fascinating.

http://medicaladoptions.com/ is a site for parents and legal guardians to trade out their children whether permanently or temporarily. Whether you need a breeding machine, a workhorse in the fields, or a maid that speaks English and you are uncomfortable paying minimum wage, this site is for you.

The site has been around for a few years operating under the name Child Trader. Credit card payments are accepted, except for Discover. Your child can work off the bill by begging out on the street for a few pennies, or passing out pens and claiming they're deaf. The younger the child, the more of a cash cow they will be.

So if you're tired of your kid, check out this site. A good threat is all they need to be straightened out and learn to fly right. If only this site had been around when I was a kid!*



*please note this site is a joke, as is the review.

Product Review - Plink Garbage Disposal Cleaner

Every now and then I get a wild hair to throw out half of my groceries, sending some into the garbage can, the rest down the disposal I like to call 'the abyss'. Sometimes my tossing goes horridly wrong after I've opened a 3 week old container of chicken salad. However, at this point it's too late, the paint is peeling down my walls and my Bulldog has packed his toys and headed for Grandma's house.

Most of the time I cover my face with a towel, blast the hot water, and try to rinse away as much of the foul stenched food particles as I can. Most of the time, it works. However, my recent extravaganzas of food purging included a drink thermos that at one time contained my morning protein shake - it had sat in my car for three days.

I assumed nothing was left in the thermos and opened the lid to rinse the cup out before sending it to a piddly bath in my poor excuse of a dishwasher. What I was met with was a large, disc shaped and mousse textured object that had been launched out of the cup and into the sink.

After I awoke (I must have fainted from the smell), I ran the disposal and hot water. The smell was still in my sink, a large cloud above my head in my already small kitchen. My efforts were futile. I threw in a lemon wedge, hoping for some good acidic burn. While the lemon worked, I cursed at my waste of a perfectly good, 2 for 50 cent lemon.



In an unrelated adventure, I went shopping a few weeks later and came across these cute little pearls of genius:


I've been complaining and whining about the stinky garbage disposals poor results at eliminating smells, plus I miss my lemons once they are down my sink. I picked up the lemon-scented pack and tripped home, happy with my $3.99 purchase.

After tossing one down the sink, the odor had been eliminated and my kitchen smelled fresh again. But....as my frequent readers know....what if I tested the product to its limit?

I began my grocery purge: a head of rotted kale (I'd forgotten to bag both ends of it and it molded within 3 days) ; old tomato soup; cream of chicken (2 weeks old); Indian food from 3 nights ago; some mushy pear slices I'd meant to take to work; and soured milk.

Keep in mind that I had been out of the country for approximately 2 1/2 months and therefore had forgotten what mysterious objects were in my Tupperware containers. I do not live this pathetically and am actually a neat freak. End Disclaimer.

At this point, the smell is rancid and I have heard my neighbors all pass out from the smell leaking through the walls in our building, Cyrus is trying to dial 911 on my cell phone. My fake plants have wilted, and I'm dry heaving. I reach for the Plink.

1 Plink destroyed the smell within seconds, and once it all drained away, it was as if nothing had ever happened.

Bottom line: Bachelor(ette)s, this is a must-have in your home. I know how you boys live and what you eat. Buy a pack and chunk one down the sink every week or so. Believe me, your dates will actually want to return to your house after the first night.

Restaurant Review - Biba's "One's a Meal" Greek restaurant

I love food. To this day, I'm not quite sure how I'm not 300 pounds of a fat cow rolling off my couch in search of butter pecan ice cream. For some strange reason, I am in good physical condition. I've eaten horse meat, dried seaweed, fish who are still looking at me, concoctions thrown together in a large black pot by a woman with a wart on her nose, and even *gasp* hot dogs. Growing up in Europe, we were not given the insane amount of cuisine choices galantly displayed here in the United States, bells and whistles shrieking at us to super size our 64 oz 'small' drink.

It's not surprise that I love Greek food, preferably Meditteranean, but I rarely turn my nose up at a good gyro and some hummus. I ventured out to One's a Meal, formerly known as Bibo's Greek restaurant last night with 20 friends and strangers. (Ok, I was forced against my already weak will, but food is food...) They boast that you can do a search on google.com and find 0 bad reviews on their restaurant in their 80 years of existence.

.......

I ordered an appetizer of Dolmades, an iced tea, and a main meal of Spanakopita. I anxiously and hungrily awaited my food, feigning interest in the lives of my companions while I refrained from eating the table.

The dolmades arrived, looking rather sad, covered in a murky yellow egg cream and lemon sauce that I expected to taste savory. I speared one, cut it up, to be met with some meat and rice that resembled that of wet dog food. Unsure of the type of meat I was about to stuff into my mouth, I read the menu:

"Dolmades- Grape leaves stuffed with ground meat and rice, topped with egg lemon sauce."

Hm. Maybe it really was dog food? Unimpressed, I forced down two until my gag reflex tapped on my tongue and threatened to regift my food like a fruitcake at a white elephant Christmas party. I gave up and left the other 2 to dry out under the sauce, shriveled and forlorn on the table. My friends eyed them suspiciously and politely refused my attempts at pawning them off and feeble comments of starving children in China. Sigh, a waste.

My main dish came out, and once they were set in front of me, I curiously recognized a sense of familiarity about the little pies. They looked as if they had come from Costco. Interesting. I stabbed one halfheartedly.

Yep, these came from Costco's frozen food section, next to the TGI Friday's jalepeno poppers. I sighed in dismay.

My neighbor lamented on a missing cream sauce from her meal, which appeared to be a type of lasagna. Rather, lasagna created by a 3 year-old, as there were pasta noodles stuffed into the bottom corner, a random pasta shell surrounding them, and some meat sauce splattered on top. Disappointed, she returned the meal and was not charged.

My meal came: $20. Holy hell, Batman! An appetizer, glass of tea, and a small meal for one person? I can head over to Yia Yia Mary's and get an order of hummus thrown into the mix, along with some baklava. While the staff was friendly, they showed no knowledge of the menu. The space was a bit cramped as well.

Thumb's down, "One's a Meal". You might want to take down the bragging rights of 'no bad reviews'.

Public Service Announcement

Hi again,

I have added two new buttons to my blog and ask that you guys check them out.

For the past few months I have been repeatedly called by a number: 714-261-1535, a telemarketing scam requesting that I purchase a new car warranty. The automated message informs me that my warranty has expired. (I have an extended warranty, morons...). Finally, I pressed '1' to speak with an operator and get my name removed. He requested my vehicle's make and model, to which I replied, "Don't you already have it? You called me."

"We are a third party. Give me the make and model, please."

I asked him to take my number off of his list; he replied, "Ok." and hung up on me.

I've added these two buttons to my site to help spread awareness about telemarkers phishing for personal information. If you receive a strange call, don't delete the number, but DON'T answer it! Report the number to the site.

Yes, our voices are being heard. Check out this link:

http://800notes.com/articles/News.aspx/VmxEJBydEABldAjLoqlB0w

Make a difference. Spread the word.


MsJ

Product Review - Adams Flea Mist

Dear readers,

I know I'm lagging on reviews. I actually have several products in the hopper, but these past few weeks have gone from strange to bad for me. My health has been deteriorating and slowly continues to decline. I am 24 years old. My symptoms are almost controlling my life, and I have paced the floors constantly, waiting for lab results to come back to tell me what my problem is.

However, I do have some time and energy on my hands and therefore, you guys get a review.

In Texas, flea season is in full swing. This year has been one of the worst years I've ever experienced in my 15 years of animal-ownership. Last week, I walked Cyrus out for a quick potty before bed. Normally, I take him out, bring him in, flip him over, and attack the fleas with a vengance. This time, I had fleas covering my feat and calves. I immediately threw us both into the shower to save us from any diseases caused by the biting fleas. With my health in its current state, the fewer bites, sinus infections, and headaches I have, the better off I am.

A few days later, I was given a bottle of Adams Flea Control Mist. The directions are simple: spray on clean dog. You can also spray the product on the carpet, pet bedding, and in corners. I've tried flea sprays before with no avail, aside from wasting my money. I faced this product with apprehension and cynicism.

I washed the victim (Cyrus the Bulldog), treated his back to flea drops, then rolled him over and sprayed his belly and legs. I vacuumed my floors, scrubbed sheets, and hoped for the best.

Overall review: One treatment of this product lasts a solid two days before I douse my dog in it again. The fleas make it to the outside of his legs, but I have yet to see any more on his belly.

The odor is a little strong when first sprayed, otherwise it is odorless and has caused no irritation to my dog's skin. I've noticed less scratching, no dry, itchy skin, and a happier Bully. You can check out additional flea mists made by the Adams company here.

Editor's note: Please discuss all flea treatments/products with your vet before using them on your pet. This is merely my opinion and experience from the product.

Product Review - Halls Breezers

I feel like mush.

That would be the understatement of the century. Between threats from DHL about shipping me off to the big orange house since I can't locate the FCC number and my jet lag from country-hopping these past few months, it's no surprise that the great MsJudgemental's health finally caved to the flu gods, leaving me in bed for 16 hours straight. I've been hacking up - well, this is a PG-rated blog, so maybe I'll leave you with the notion that I have been coughing, sneezing, and miserable since Sunday afternoon. At first I had hoped it was simply an attack of the allergies, what with our two straight days of torrential rains, but despite my constant Benadryl popping, my efforts were futile and I found myself even more miserable.

I rarely get sick. When I do fall victim to the flu, a cold, scarlet fever (yep, been there), or a sinus infection, it knocks me off my feet and cripples me for two days until I allow myself to get better. During that time I am constantly coughing and certainly get to annoy my favorite useless coworker with a loud, deep cough. I picked up the Halls(TM) Breezers from a gas station one morning, having had enough of the menthol-taste in my mouth and feeling like I could smell a skunk from ten miles away.

I love these things. They taste decent, for a cough drop. They are sweet and quickly ease my itchy throat with no aftertaste. For about $2.00 a bag (via the gas station) I can have some temporary relief (so can my coworkers) from the most annoying part about being sick - the chronic cough. Let's just hope it's not whooping cough.

My apologies for the short review, but alas...with the economy in shambles, I have to ensure that my work comes before my pleasure.

Product Review - Rinse Ace Brand Pet Shampoo Mitt

In my continuous efforts to stop my poor dog's itching and shedding all over the house, I finally broke down and went to Petco in search of new products to help him. Hearing him chew at himself, roll around on my carpet grunting obnoxiously, and rubbing against the corners of my walls like a housecat was enough to get my lazy rear off my couch and hit the pavement.

After locating a new shampoo similar to the one sash recommended in my previous post, I came across this handy little scrubby mitt pictured to the right. Made by Rinse Ace Products , the mitt resembles that of a typical yellow dishwashing glove, but with a rubber palm pasted to it. The product is priced at a reasonable $4.95, and Petco's return policy is very lenient. I grabbed it and thought, "Well, why not?" They claim that it feels good to the pet and helps clear dead, dry skin.

I get home and unloaded my purchases in the bathroom. Now, to locate the test subject.

After chasing a crabby Bulldog around the apartment, then discovering I no longer fit under my bed (must be all the beer I drank while in Australia, ermf), then coaxing him out, then finally threatening him, I heaved the 50 pound test subject into the tub and tried out my new find.

The results were amazing. For under $5.00, I removed almost a pound of dead hair, skin, and dander from my poor Bulldog. I've never seen him remain so still for a bath. I was able to use less shampoo (an oatmeal and aloe based Petco product, to be later reviewed) and scrub his wrinkles twice as well. He adored having his neck scrubbed and massaged. Despite my concerns over the hard rubber 'nubs' on the mitt, Cyrus sighed in complete bliss while I tore away most of his winter coat and relieved the itching. The amount of fur that came off covered the entire palm of the wash mitt - all three times. I used half of the amount of shampoo as I normally did. I gave him a towel dry with a new microfiber towel (similar to Shamwow but half the price) and he bolted around the apartment, frisky, clean, and 2 pounds lighter.

It's been about three days since the bath, and the results are still astounding. Note: I did wash all of his sheets after his bath, so he had nothing but clean sheets on his beds.

The shedding has decreased, and the itching, moaning and grunting has decreased by about 80%. Due to allergy season here in my neck of the woods, he is going to be put on a medicine (Bulldogs are prone to high allergies), but his coat lacks the white dander and dry skin. He still loves a good scratch, but he even smells better. There is no 'dog' scent in my place, less hair on my floor, and his coat is sleek and shiny.

I give this product an A plus for price, quality, and everything in between!

Product Review - Pure Solutions Moisturizing Pet Shampoo

I've been trying to review this product for over a week, but the site to link the picture to was down, so I had to come up with something else whilst I waited. Alas! The site is up and running, and ready for MsJudgemental's wrath.

You guys all know that I have a dog. Cyrus, aka Mr. Wonderful, peanutbutter pie, sugar bear, snooky wooky, etc, is a 4 year old English Bulldog that occasionally stinks up to high heavens. I've been on a shampoo run for the past few months in attempt to keep him smelling springtime fresh for at least more than 3 days at a time. Oh, to be so lucky.

At one of my weekly ventures to "Big Box Store", I found myself wandering the pet product aisles in search of yet another solution to my poor dog's itchy coat. Between the stinkiness from playing hard at the park and rolling in mud, and the time of year that causes all dog's coats to explode from their bodies, I was at my wit's end. I am known for being a bit of a clean freak, and a smelly dog is not at the top of my 'ignore' list.

After meandering through the filthy Hartz products (all readers, please click the link for valuable information!) I found myself staring at the grooming products. The majority of the shampoos didn't work for my dog, so I was looking for something new. Here's what I found:



Yikes, pardon the bad image upload, kids. The puresolutionbrands.com website doesn't appear to have been created by a web expert, what with its explosion of blue happiness and basic html usage. But I'm not here to review the website, am I...?

Pictured to the right are two products that made it into my cart, rushed home, and used on my poor dog. Pure Solutions advocates that this shampoo is all natural, with lavender scents and low foaming, since bubblage is caused from those pesky chemical products. I rolled my eyes and threw my dog into the tub, ignoring his silent protests and vows of eating my shoes while I slept that night. I followed the directions - rinse, suds, and rinse. Towel dry. I did note the low foam/sudsiness of him, which concerned me enough to use even more of the shampoo. Afterwards, he was dry and smelled relatively good.

A few short days later, my dog smelled like....dog. Dog owners know this smell is disgusting and will seep into your fabrics if you aren't careful and dedicated to vacuuming and have stock in Febreeze. I sprayed him with the Pure between bath freshener.

FAIL. I've gotten better results from using Pantene on him. His coat became oily and he scratched himself raw from the 'natural' products in the shampoo. Cyrus was constantly on his back, rolling on the carpet in attempts to relieve his poor, itchy back. Eventually I noticed patches of hair missing around his neck and legs.

I gave the shampoo a second try, hoping that it was just allergy season, only with the same results. I later found an oatmeal and Aloe shampoo by another maker that does suds and foam up, with a clean, happy dog who itches much less and gets more dirt out of his coat. His hair is also growing back.

Overall, these two products are mediocre. I understand about 'going green' and saving the environment. I am an advocate for growing one's own produce, turning off lights and unplugging appliances. Heck, my electric bill is rarely over $60. However, I would rather have a clean, happy dog than be concerned about what the shampoo is going to do at the local water treatment plant once it makes its way down the sewer.

I have some left, if anyone wants to test it on their dog. (said tongue in cheek, of course.)

Food Review - Kellogg's Special K "Chocolatey Delight" cereal

Picture this: It's 10:00 at night, and you've got the munchies. Your sweet tooth has just smacked your tongue, demanding satisfaction in the forms of sugar. But those pesky pounds your promised yourself that you would drop hug you tightly, threatening to disembark new saddle bags on your already frustratingly large love handles (so you think).

What do you do?

Research has shown that diets don't work. Deprevation is not the key to dropping and keeping weight off of our bodies. Americans are known for eating over-processed, fried, greased, grilled garbage that we consider food. So sticking your head in the freezer for a giant fudgecream bar is not the best answer, nor the gallon of Haagen-Daaz inconveniently hidden in the back next to the chicken.

Why yes, this situation describes me to a T! (I don't eat Haagen Daaz...but you get the idea.)

Check out Kellogg's Special K Chocolate Delight cereal.

Yes, you heard/read me correctly. Cereal. This new marketing adventure from Kellogg's hit the nail on the head when they advertised a woman with a snack attack at 10 pm. Instead of charging through the white box of doom and attacking Blue Bell, she reaches for a box of this cereal. Coupled with a half a cup of skim (or 1%, if your tastebuds actually exist) milk, it is the better alternative to destroying any attempts at those smaller jeans the next morning.

While eating at night is not always the healthiest choice for people like yours truly, I get the munchies. Most of the time I go for a 100-calorie pack, some fruit, or a small piece of chocolate. But every now and then, I want something different. At a national Big Box store several months ago, I located the advertised product and chunked it in my cart next to other attempts at being uber-healthy.

I gave it a shot.

Hands down, this product was one of the smartest things Kellogg has ever done to get through the doors of my house. I don't particularly care of cereal, but this cereal is a definite winner. It satisfies my sweet tooth, tosses fewer calories into my system, and as someone who never gets enough calcium (sorry, Doc), it takes care of two birds with one bowl (er...stone).

Product Review - Rescue Remedy Sleep

What a month, kids.

I was kicked out of the country at the beginning of January and forced to do real work in the land down under, eat vegemite, sleep on exotic beaches, and...ok, we'll leave it at that.

When I returned to my office after being gone for two weeks, I had phone messages, emergencies, over 500 emails I had neglected while working down under on another project, a sick dog, family matters, home issues, and...again, we'll leave it at that.

Imagine the surprise when I discovered that I could not sleep at night! I assumed it would be easy to crawl into bed after a long day of battling the corporate world and adjusting my body off of a 15 hour time difference (what day is it?).

So I found myself at the health food store, searching for something that would help me sleep, but not knock me out beyond the ability to hear my alarm clock go off the next morning. I spoke with the girl at the counter, also informing her of my anxiety disorder that tends to fight any sleeping medication. (I tried Lunesta years ago and became a wannabe Spiderman by climbing the walls) She smiled and pulled out this handy little tool:

Meet Rescue Remedy Sleep. This tiny bottle is safe to take on planes, costs about $5.00, and is processed chemical free. From the website Rescue Sleep:

Rescue Sleep calms your restless mind providing natural relief for sleeplessness caused by stress and repetitive thoughts. Containing a blend of Rescue Remedy and the Bach Flower Remedy White Chestnut, Rescue Sleep allows you to sleep naturally and wake refreshed. Visit www.rescuesleep.com for more information. -->
Rescue Sleep calms your restless mind providing natural relief for sleeplessness caused by stress and repetitive thoughts.
Rescue Sleep is totally natural and contains six of the 38 Bach® Flower Essences: Rock Rose for terror and panic, Impatiens for irritation and impatience, Clematis for inattentiveness, Star of Bethlehem for shock, Cherry Plum for irrational thoughts, and White Chestnut for relief from repetitive thoughts.

Repetitive thoughts? Shock? Restless mind? I just wanted to SLEEP. I wanted to stop thinking about my second trip back down under, my expense report with a $100 missing receipt, a trip to Europe for more work, my boss hounding me about a project...I just wanted to sleep. The girl assured me it would knock me out with no side effects in the morning. I gave it a go and spent the $5.

One evening, despite my futile efforts at relaxing my body - calming thoughts, warm bath, hot tea, snuggle time with my dog, and no TV, computer, or any electronic device near me, my jet lag was the culprit. I woke up around 2 am, wide awake, head racing, wondering if I had sent off an email to someone. I grabbed the bottle and peered at the instructions:

"Spray 2 times on top of tongue. Spray as needed throughout the night."

Sheepishly, I grumbled about not needing to take additional Unisoms and Advil PMs once they'd sent me into a coma, but I sprayed twice, then hit the sack and waited.

Suddenly, my alarm clock went off, and it was 8:30 in the morning. I had fallen asleep and rested the entire night, and woke up without feeling hungover. My body felt relaxed and comfortable.

Now, I'm not anti-drugs. But the realization that I had fallen asleep with the assistance of an all-natural product and woken up with no side effects iced the cake.

Overall, I highly recommend this product. I plan to test it out a few more times to ensure that I didn't 'get lucky' and fall asleep on my own accord.

Product Review - L'Oreal Double Extension Beauty Tubes mascara

The ad for this product was too good to be true. For only $8.87 (Wal-Mart in Texas price) my eyes could sparkle, flutter, and knock men's socks off worldwide. This was the perfect addition in my attempts to steal Hugh Jackman from his wife when I am in Australia next week!

On a whim, I decided to purchase the L'Oreal Double Ext...ok, you can read the title.

The site claims 'you can get the same salon-like extension result that is completely hassle free' without spending $600 on professional extensions. While I have been told my eyes are my best feature of my face, I've never been a fan of my 'average' eyelashes and am quite envious of those who do get the sleepy, sultry effect from having thick ones. I chunked the product in my cart and headed about my merry way.

After applying the product, I must admit, while it does provide some 'extension', it certainly did not perform as well as an $8 bottle of black paste should. I'm a faithful subscriber to the all time best seller and classic Maybelline Great Lash mascara, which is half the price. It gives my eyes a smokier appearance and is easier to wash off.

The beauty tubes product is a two step process and requires a steadier hand - the first application is a white cream of some sort that 'lengthens and separates'. The second requires the better control over your hand - if you don't cover all of the white, you look like you have eyelash dandruff, and that's just a fashion faux pas. The mascara is also a little more difficult to remove. With most mascaras I have used, a warm washcloth and some eye makeup remover does the trick. With this, it felt like I was pulling off my lashes, and I don't have any to spare.

Overall review? I liked it, but not enough to justify spending $9 on it. When the price falls to $5.00, I may consider buying it again. Until then, it sits in my makeup tray.

Food Review - Pizza Hut's "The Rustica" pizza

Every so often I get a wild craving for a pizza. Something about the crispy crust, the hot cardboard box, and throwing $20 away on instant gratification is enough to make me do a mad dash for the phone and order one. However, I'm watching calories and carbs and everything else that gives cause for lovehandles this new years. So when I discovered Pizza Hut is *finally* making pizzas with wheat crust, I jumped on the chance to test it out. Wheat bread in general is known for being dryer than white bread, less sweet, and just plain boring. Curious, I ordered "The Rustica" displayed above behind the pepperoni pizza.

From the website: "With a multigrain crust, all-natural pepperoni or Rustica sausage, all-natural mozzarella cheese and all-natural sauce made from vine-ripened tomatoes, you'll fall in love with pizza all over again. Get a medium Natural Pepperoni for $9.99 or a medium Natural Rustica for $11.99!"

Before I jump into "all natural" and "pepperoni" being in the same sentence and the huge oxymoron that creates, I will remind myself this is an overall review and not a lesson in grammar and lying. Clickety click, I ordered the pizza online and anxiously awaited its arrival to my front door.

After battling a Bulldog attacking the pizza guy, shoving money in his hand, and sending him on his way, I hurredly stuffed my face with this steamy, 'healthy' creation.

My review: Not bad. The crust was substantial, not soggy at all, and held the toppings well. All cheese is good cheese to me, and Pizza Hut did not fail. The sausage had a delightful zing to it with no strange nauseating after-taste, and the tomatoes were deliciously seasoned. The sauce tasted a little different than the last time I recall eating a Pizza Hut pizza, but it wasn't something to complain over.

One pizza lasted me 3 days and 4 meals, with 2 slices over. I ordered a medium. I hope that the wheat crust is soon available on other variations of pizza, like a margherita or supreme. Even the morning after, the pizza still held freshness and a crispy crust.

I give it a thumbs up.